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My Sexual User's Guide v. 1.0
Posted:Jun 28, 2018 11:27 am
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2018 3:52 pm
4681 Views

PHILOSOPHY To be honest, I still struggle with sexual trauma of my past, but as I get older, I'm embracing that I'm a sexual being deserving of pleasure and wanting to give pleasure. Sex is natural, nudity is natural and our bodies- what they can and can't do aren't anything to be ashamed of. Nothing wrong with what your desires are. Sex isn't a weapon to be used to coerce or harm anyone emotionally, physically, or psychologically. Sex should be a consensual act between adults of legal age. There should be no pressure to have sex if a person isn't ready. I believe that people shouldn't be punished for consenting, and then changing their minds later on; their decision should be respected. I believe that the government should fuck off when it comes to what two or more consenting adults do in their bedroom. I believe women should have more sexual freedom, and that their bodies aren't objects or ornaments. I believe that not all men oversexed, and that some do want to have sex when they feel ready. Just like I dont believe that all women are demure and have a low sex drive.

ORIENTATION:
I'm straight, boo. Because I dislike how men tend to treat women and I'm very vocal about that doesn't mean I'm going to switch teams. Now what type of man, the less touched by toxic masculine stereotypes the better.

PREFERENCES

*A no pressure daytime meet in public, i.e the mall, starbucks (or a better coffee spot) or over lunch.

*I don't have a car, so I prefer being picked up. If you don't have a car, I can make it by uber, but this would have to be at the top of the month.

*To host at my place, since I feel safer and have the home advantage. Right now I live with family with a religious mom and two small children (not mines), so if you can pop for a room, that's fine. If you can host at your place, even better.

*To have conversation, a massage or cuddle; I have anxiety disorder and before sex is when I'm the most nervous. Even if I'm into the guy, I need reassurance and it's nothing personal against the guy.

*Proper hygiene, a clean space and clean clothes. I always shower, brush my teeth, etc, and trim my pubic hair (unless I'm lazy) and clean my area before meeting someone, and I expect the same.

*To have antibacterial wipes or hand sanitizer on hand, and to not use spit as lube since I'm prone to yeast infections and BV. Not a neat freak, just careful when it comes to germs and sexual contact.

*If we haven't agreed ahead of time that it's a casual but "monogamous" thing with both of us having been tested recently- I HIGHLY prefer using condoms. I have an IUD, but the nature of the device won't allow me catching STI.

*To have a slightly warm-ish room, because I feel I perform better when I'm not cool or freezing.

*To have water or gatorade and snacks on hand. Because you work up and appetite and you sweat, duh. Also because no one can perform on an empty stomach, and I also get low blood sugar.

*To at least go more than one round and have more than one orgasm, if possible. Of course there's schedules to consider, but in general I don't normally care for just one go around. Even if it's just helping me while I get my ownself off.

*To please each other equally; I don't do selfish lovers or "pillow princess" shit. I give back as good as he gives me. If you can't, don't expect to see me again.

*To use toys and sexual aids (like lube for example) to enhance the experience, and not to be shamed or embarrassed or denied using toys and aids. (some guys have tried to get me off by sheer will, but I do need outside stimulation that's more than just vaginal penetration and mindless thrusting)

*Boundaries and consent, and to discuss anything we'd like to do before entering into a sexual relationship. Not forced to do anything I don't want to, and the guy to have the same expectation.

TURN ONS (physical)
Toned shoulders
Graceful necks
Forearms
Brunettes - not dirty blonde, or plain brown hair but rich and dark brown, dark auburn
"Salt & pepper" brunettes
Bald guys with groomed beards
Groomed beards and stubble
Abs
Full lips or well-shaped mouths
Freckles and moles
Pale, but not transclusent skin
Curly or wavy hair
Thick and groomed eyebrows
Husky/thick built men, i.e "big handsome men", "dad bods", pre-Marvel Chris Pratt, "teddy bears"
Swimmer's build, i.e tall, lean and athletic or short, athletic and lean
Dimples
Eyelashes
Bubble butts
Toned calves and thighs
Scars (depending on the guy and where the scars are located)
Adonis belts
**keep in mind, any of these in combination and not all are set in stone

TURN ONS (sexual)

Grunts, long and vulnerable moaning, groans
Uncut cock
Hangy ballsacks
Guys who pre cum
Grinding against my backside or crotch during foreplay
Ear play: heavy breathing, licking, lightly stroking, lobe nibbling
"Begging" to be inside me
Breast and nipple play: licking, nibbling, pinching, kneading, groping, sucking, etc
Nipple play and making out
Displays of strength (if at all possible): picked up and carried, yanked towards him, being pinned down during sex
Necking

TURN OFFS/ OFF LIMITS
Pushiness/impatience
Negging, begging, any form of manipulation
R*** fantasies
Scat, blood, spit
Incest fantasies
Bestiality
Children
Bad hygiene (unkempt hair and or facial hair, long nails, dirty clothes, BO, untrimmed or unshaved pubes, stank breath)
Lying about important things, i.e having a partner, having children
Disregard for sexual health, i.e not using condoms
Sexually aggressive from the jump
Being called "sweetie" or any term of endearment without knowing me
For White guys, asking me "If I ever been with a white guy" or basically implying that your interest in me is for bucket list purposes

FETISHES

Ass play: rimming, fingering, groping, biting
Bulges, hard-ons, dick prints and outlines
Creampies
Oil play - coconut oil/baby oil/lubed handjobs
Spanking - ass and breasts
Sensory stimulation: fabrics across the nipples and clit for example, aural stimulation: distinctive voices, being vocal
Nipples
Facesitting
Hickies
Parked car sex
Passive exhibitionism
Hands and finger worship (if he has nice hands)
Biting: wrists, upper back, butt, collar bone

Favorite positions
Doggy style, cowgirl, missionary, spooning position, belly down w/ guy on top
10 Comments
Orgasms and birthday cakes
Posted:Sep 25, 2018 7:16 pm
Last Updated:Sep 25, 2018 10:13 pm
65 Views

This is a lighter post, obviously. Update: me and "Darrell" made up and my mom comes home today 😊 or I hope so, because maybe the doctor wants to make sure she's feeling well enough to return home. (edit) My mom is home.

Anyway, met up with my FWB "Veggie" last night for one of our sleepovers that we usually do, except that he had baked me a cake since I told him past weekend that it was my birthday Tuesday. After we checked in to the hotel, we went and had Mexican at a place we went to before and enjoyed. I had a fat ass burrito and he the vegan enchiladas of course. This would be the second time that I didn't finish dinner because I filled up on chips and salsa.

So we went back to the hotel and he went about frosting the cake; which was vegan because it just was. It was also a small cake, but it made sense logistically and practically. I didn't eat it right away and we hung out in bed and talked for a bit. Of course one thing led to another...

I really hadn't had sex with anyone in the almost three months that I hadn't seen "Veggie". I think it was a mix of disinterest, slim pickings and lately the listless feeling that comes with having bronchitis. I didn't really masturbate much, either. I think it was the same on his end because we usually just jump in, but we made out, with him loving on my neck and ears, then playing with my nipples outside my shirt. I guess I was really horny because he got me so wet sucking my tits, and pulling my nipples and slapping them that I told him that I needed to ride him.

Before that I had to clean my toy for when the time came. While I did that, he snatched my panties down, his hard cock hovering behind my ass, so close I felt the precum smear on me. He slapped my ass lightly to which I invited him to spank me, and it didn't help me much in my lust.

So he grabbed a pillow off the bed and I got on top. Or tried to - seems like my pussy was too tight to give, so I asked him him to thrust into me, maybe nibble my tits a little bit to get me more wet. Piercing my tight barrier, I was slow and undulating, straight eye contact I waxed his pole. “Veggie “ is quiet by nature, but he managed to get out some breathy grunts which means it felt good to him, enough that he had me kiss him and even tried to get a few pumps in, but it was my birthday and I liked to steer. I got more enthusiastic about it, bouncing on his cock so much that my breasts swayed and he tried to hold on to them, and my hips.

I don't cum during cowgirl, so missionary back on the bed. He was different - it wasn't all about banging intensely tonight. He mixed it up with gentle and fast while my mini vibrator buzzed and I even let myself build up to a powerful orgasm that made me scrunch up like a bug. He wanted to keep going but I knew how much he loved doggy, so I flipped over offering up my pussy to him.

After a few seconds of positioning, he fucked me hard, with me moaning because his dick hit the right spot. He was going to cum, and he asked me where I wanted it. Inside of course and he pounded with abandon with me begging him to cum inside. He was hard and deep and with a grunt I felt him bust inside. Obviously it was a lot because it leaked on to the bed. We both collapsed and I kissed his hand appreciatively while he stroked my arm. He blurted out “Birthday Sex! “ Yeah it was, and it was good.

After we respectively rinsed off, I finally had some cake and it was delicious. I chowed on that while we watched some Supernatural for the rest of the. All in all, not a bad night.
5 Comments
Unhappy Birthday
Posted:Sep 25, 2018 6:03 am
Last Updated:Sep 25, 2018 11:29 am
162 Views

No, it wasn't September 1st; like most people on this site, I lied, but who cares? So I'm 37 today and even though I don't really do odd numbers with the exception of fives, and tens (yes, I know tens aren't odd numbers) I still would've liked more, you know?

Seeing zero birthday greetings on FB stung, but it's FB and I have low expectations. But none at all? Then again, I either dropped or been dropped by people in the last few months. Which includes my friend of almost twenty years "Nelson" and a lover I had caught feelings for, "Josh" along with a few others. You want to be showered in gifts in front of the warm glow of a lighted birthday cake. The only warm glow is my phone.

Why it's shit tier today?

Well...

1. Today, one year ago in the early morning - my cousin was brutally shot in the head by some... I can't even think of words right now. He left behind twin boys under five who would never know their father. Two grieving parents who lost their only kid and tens of hundreds of people who loved my cousin. I guess that's probably why he was smoked...someone that popular, there's always a dipshit who was going to despise you. Enough to take your life, apparently. 😢

2. "Darrell" and I always fight, and I threaten to cut ties, but always come back in a day or two. It seems like if he's not willing to talk this out with me, I just might have to walk for good. This all started over a long time friend of his, we're talking all the way back, decades. Anyway, he complained to me about the Mormon and Right wing propaganda she posts that shows up constantly on his FB feed because that seems like the bulk of what she posts. I told him to just mute it or unfollow her - he took it as me saying to delete her. I didn't, but why put up with it and then play the suffering victim later? Anyway, he figured that he can just tell her to stop or argue with her to change her mind, but apparently it doesn't work because, duh- she's going to do it again...and has. I figured that if he was going to do that and turn a blind eye, that maybe he was complicit in her behavior because that was his closest friend. Thing is, and he told me, that they haven't been that close for awhile now. That he's been talking to me most of the time. So it really wasn't about her anymore, so much as I came for his ego, because I told him that he was a hypocrite. He was because to me, he was one of those white liberals who are all about how liberal they are and what they support, but turn out to be hypocrites or worse. I accused him of keeping me around as the "token black friend" to make him look progressive. It's probably not the case, but this is the impression that I get. He knows that he's a lot more privileged than me, and it feels like that because he's adamant to not hear me out. He knows that it's been hell for people of my race for a while now, so to see him continue to be friends with someone who has her beliefs like that...he might as well hit me in the heart with his archery arrows. I tried to sort things out last night, and even told him that this hurt me. All he could say was sorry, but he's sticking to his guns. Okay, then. He seems like he wants to throw away three years of a good friendship...okay 😔

3. So my mom has cirrhosis of the liver. I got that shit dropped on me yesterday, after Saturday afternoon my mom had complained of severe abdominal problems. She tried to use the restroom to no avail, stuff like gas X and her favorite tea didn't help at all. Then she started violently retching which scared the shit out of me, so the consensus was to just call the paramedics. She's fine, but I had a legit fear that she had something like pancreatic cancer, the thing that killed Aretha Franklin and Steve Jobs. For the first time in sincerity, I prayed for her and for it not to be worse. It wasn't. That's my gift, I guess. Only if she complies with me and the doctor, because obviously she's going to have to change her diet. People assume cirrhosis comes from drinking, but my mom doesn't drink heavily - she has hepatitis C which we thought was in check, but not really. Sigh.

Just pray for...fuck it, everything. My mom, my friendship, my aunt and uncle, me and my mental state...yeah, happy birthday indeed.
11 Comments
Why do guys think that "good sex" has to hurt?
Posted:Sep 24, 2018 8:54 am
Last Updated:Sep 25, 2018 4:57 am
235 Views

Maybe it's my getting older, and my body responding in kind but having rough and intense sex is, well, getting too painful to handle. It's unfortunate, because I'm a fan of hot and heavy romps and marathon fucking. It's especially unfortunate, because I'm finally coming into my own (no pun) after being timid, self conscious about my body, hesitant to express my needs or to take the lead.

Sex has gotten literally too painful. It's fine in the beginning, but after, my vagina is rubbed raw. Lack of lubrication probably or dare I say guys don't really bother winding me up? I know it's a matter of communication, but not all men will honor your request to nibble your neck, lightly stroke your ear, bite your clavicle, pinch your nipples and fill your mouth with their tongue...

Ahem. Cough. 😌

Also, maybe with some women and porn stars, they like having you flop ontop like an epileptic fish, smashing your pussy into mush, damn near grazing your cervix...but I don't. Some men think that women don't want gentle, they want to have an episiotomy without the childbirth. I come to find slow and gentle wins the race. Not the mindless and mechanical. 🙄

After two months, I'm hanging out with "Veggie", my FWB this evening. I think I might propose this more gentle approach.

And remember guys, good sex doesn't have to hurt. Slow it down, get her heated up. I mean, you don't sear steak in a cold pan, why would you want to fuck a dry cooch?
11 Comments
Maybe more..
Posted:Sep 23, 2018 5:24 am
Last Updated:Sep 23, 2018 10:40 pm
334 Views

Seems like all attempts to block the morning light coming through my window has failed, so here's a quick post since I can't sleep now.

I find it ironic and funny when I see the phrase "maybe more" following up the uninspiring, "looking for fun/looking for a FWB/NSA/DHS/FBI, etc." Because I thought that anything in the way of romantic relationships were an anathema...then again, what do guys mean by "maybe more" anyway? Maybe more avocado with your burrito bowl at Chipotle? Maybe more comforter if we dare share a bed together after sex? Ohh, I know! Maybe more time to fuck you before I bust a nut prematurely. Has to be it.

I'm sorry. I just find it interesting that despite a place that broadcasts scattered ass and the guarantee that you will get some that night has the whole rare guy wanting a fuck that has potential for growth into something meaningful. That said, I can indulge the optimistic, if he's genuine.
8 Comments
How affectionate are you?
Posted:Sep 14, 2018 4:13 pm
Last Updated:Sep 22, 2018 2:43 pm
741 Views

So, I'm confined to bed rest, that's boring so here's a post for good measure.

I was talking to my married friend, "H" aka Papi and the topic got on affection after I lamented that the worst thing with being sick was the fact that there's no one around to snuggle and look after me. Agreeing he commiserated saying that there's none in his marriage (which by now, typical and a cliché), that he doesn't even get snuggled if that. Him and his wife love each other, even sleep in the same bed, but no sex and affection because of his wife's growing health issues.

I confessed that I wasn't naturally affectionate. Must be a generational thing as my mother wasn't huggy and kissy with us, just as her mother wasn't either. I mean, I am affectionate but it's not spontaneous and demonstrative, and it's more with lovers and less with family and friends. Even with lovers I don't really tend to be either. I chalk it up to the bullying and the sexual abuse in my childhood that I might be what's considered "cold and withdrawn".

However, as of late its all I've been wanting to do. Papi and men like him are refreshing, because when he got the okay, he was all over me like white on rice. He puts a lot of feeling into it which is what I've been missing as well. "Veggie", my estranged FWB, I had to subtly chide into snuggles and even then it was more awkward than genuine. Papi is the breath of fresh air I need and crave. Too bad he's married, but it's not like his wife is giving him anything.

So what do you think?
12 Comments
How affectionate are you?
Posted:Sep 14, 2018 4:01 pm
Last Updated:Sep 25, 2018 10:31 pm
653 Views

I'm confined to bed rest, that's boring so here's a post for good measure.

I was talking to my married friend, "H" aka Papi and the topic got on affection after I lamented that the worst thing with being sick was the fact that there's no one around to snuggle and look after me. Agreeing he commiserated saying that there's none in his marriage (which by now, typical and a cliché), that he doesn't even get snuggled if that. Him and his wife love each other, even sleep in the same bed, but no sex and affection because of his wife's growing health issues.

I confessed that I wasn't naturally affectionate. Must be a generational thing as my mother wasn't huggy and kissy with us, just as her mother wasn't either. I mean, I am affectionate but it's not spontaneous and demonstrative, and it's more with lovers and less with family and friends. Even with lovers I don't really tend to be either. I chalk it up to the bullying and the sexual abuse in my childhood that I might be what's considered "cold and withdrawn".

However, as of late its all I've been wanting to do. Papi and men like him are refreshing, because when he got the okay, he was all over me like white on rice. He puts a lot of feeling into it which is what I've been missing as well. "Veggie", my estranged FWB, I had to subtly chide into snuggles and even then it was more awkward than genuine. Papi is the breath of fresh air I need and crave. Too bad he's married, but it's not like his wife is giving him anything.

What do you think?
1 comment
Drowning in phlegm
Posted:Sep 14, 2018 12:38 am
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2018 9:48 pm
750 Views

Sorry for the AWOL job. Besides being bored to tears by this place, it seems like around the time I wrote my last blog, I started to come down with something, which by Tuesday was full blown. Everyone else had pneumonia in the house, so I assumed that's what I had. Long story short, a random FB friend told me that the longer I had it, the more likely it was that I'd get scarring on my lungs. So that was enough to scare me into going to an urgent care clinic.

Blah blah blah, I have bronchitis instead. I have a steady diet of powerade, chicken noodle soup (which I'm getting tired of) antibiotics, and cough medicine. My room looks like a sick person inhabits it: tissue everywhere, vaporub, empty powerade bottles and with those empties-- as I so call it, it's a makeshift spittoon. Hey, the phlegm has to go somewhere.

To amuse me during my bed rest, movies and binge watching TV shows. I hadn't even cracked open my Christmas gift, the complete series of Daria including the TV movies. It's really underrated and definitely the golden age of MTV when they showed good TV and music videos.

Anyway, I can't sleep which is counterproductive to me getting well. That and asshole younger siblings stressing me out.

* phlegmy cough * OK, going to try to sleep.
4 Comments
The argument for Good Girls, Nice Guys and the Friendzone
Posted:Sep 9, 2018 10:57 am
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2018 7:12 pm
923 Views

This is inspired by a sweet friend's lament. In fact, this is for anyone who has lost out on relationships sexual or romantic because they were deemed "too nice". I often wonder why that's been so? Especially when the consensus around this place and other dating sites (don't "at me" about this being just a sex site) is that men and women treat each other terribly.

I'm balancing a lot here, between not putting the onus on nice folks to not be so "nice" as in being abusive and selfish, nor people who keep choosing shitty people to be more discerning to the point of mistrust...

When it comes to "niceness", it usually comes from a place of people pleasing, which boils down to not wanting to be alone. I know that all too well, but in the end, all that does is make you an easy mark. An easy mark, and a person that can be ignored. I will admit that I have been on the user's end - taking advantage of nice things done for me and ignoring the guy, finding ways to dodge him. This is why being "mean" aka assertive won't kill you in the dating world. When you're assertive and politely "don't give a fuck", men and women find that appealing. I guess it's the "FOMO effect"? I guess it's also because in the West, we celebrate an individual and independent mindset, as opposed to putting more emphasis on the collective.

Yes, I come to find that the less needy a guy is of my attention, the more I think about him and want his attention. He doesn't have to be a selfish dipstick or treat me terribly which has been the traditional very often perpetuated belief for decades. It's just him having his own life and personality that doesn't rely on him being everyone's door mat. I call it a "healthy unavailability".

I'm basically saying to nice people that you can still be friendly, respectful, generous and sweet - do your own thing, have your own life. Set up healthy boundaries and enforce them. Don't be afraid to say no. Don't be afraid to be alone. If you have a full social life going on, someone will find that appealing...

I know that I implied that nice folks are boring, but maybe for some, that's not a bad thing. Nothing wrong with "settled and good" and for all we know - that boring, settled, and stable nice person was probably a wild child who needed a change. Maybe they might let some of that out just to keep you on your toes. Don't underestimate nice folks like us, is my point there.

Lastly, and some will hate me for it, but "the friendzone" doesn't exist. It just makes people who went in with expectations of sex or a relationship victims who wallow in their own victimhood. That's how the Nice Guy/ Good Girl ™ narrative starts. It demonizes women and men for being reasonable. I'm not saying that people who abuse other's feelings don't exist, but for the case of unrequited love, find someone who is interested in you and vice versa.

I hope this have been food for thought. Direct your hate or praise in the comments below.
10 Comments
Do you have a pattern of lovers?
Posted:Sep 7, 2018 5:45 pm
Last Updated:Sep 9, 2018 7:58 am
1067 Views
Sigh. Loooong drama-filled Friday, so something that isn't about crappy family members and Bunny Boiler ex girlfriends of my best friend.who are jealous of me, mkay?


Do you have a pattern of people you keep falling for, whether they're lovers and/or more serious relationships? It can be looks or personalities, for good or for ill. The point is, does your personal history keep repeating itself?

In the case of my good and close friend "Darrell" he seems to have a thing for women who are either possessive and controlling, emotionally and verbally abusive, or just New Agey hoodoo believers in "wellness" and holistic medicine. Which totally clashes with the fact that he's an atheist. He made of a joke of it as he does saying that he attracts unstable women like that, because "like attracts like". At least in the case of the New Agey types, he lives on the West Coast of Canada, a more liberal-ish part of Canada...so is that a surprise?

As for your girl here....sigh, either roughnecks, raised around black folks or romantically attracted to black women like my ex-boyfriend "Erik" or ex lover "Josh" who was more a mix of "hoodrat" and "shit kicking cowboy" right down to his hat and boots. Maybe another lover, "Finn" who basically looked like a black dude dipped in vanilla, who had big lips and an overbite that loved basketball and was a street dancer with pretentious taste in music. Also, an undiagnosed narcissist.

On the other spectrum- geeky, bearded and brunette manchildren who end up being emotionally or geographically distant. Like "Darrell" who is "King Nerd" and an -school geek who's proud of it. But he's not brunette...yet I love the guy more than a fat kid loves cake. Him, not so much...but we're still close.

These days, DILFs, older men and ethically non-monogamous married men. Hey, a hot mess when it comes to taste in guys.

So what say you and your taste? I know it's cliche, but the last one with DILFs, married men and older men- definitely issues. Like I said again...hot mess.¯\_(ツ)_/¯
11 Comments
I'm coining a new phrase: "Titty Stingy"
Posted:Sep 6, 2018 10:43 pm
Last Updated:Sep 9, 2018 10:15 pm
1110 Views

Maybe it'll find itself in the ubiquitously used Urban Dictionary someday

Anyway, what is "Titty Stingy", you ask? My official definition is: During foreplay, or intercourse one whom withholds giving breasts and nipples their due attention. Perhaps because of disinterest, inexperience or being distracted by other points of arousal or sexual pleasure. Or he's just being a bastard. Antonym: "Titty Generous"

I guess my best example of that is a guy who doesn't attention to what a woman has said is the key to her arousal, and starts to go his own way. Of course this results in a lousy time in bed, which of course means it's the woman's fault for being a "cold fish" in bed.

What it means to me is a guy who is inattentive, maybe absently squeezes at them. He probably gets a genuine moan from me if he sucks the nipple right....so of course he's going to stop doing it. He spends all but five minutes doing that, and then he wants to penis you because he's hard as a rock, but you're as wet as the Gobi desert.

Bonus tip(s) : At least with me...start slow. Kiss me and caress everything before getting to the breasts. When you're there, don't snatch them out yet, just tease. By teasing: kiss the cleavage, explore the outside with your lips. If you're good at tracking, tease my nipples from outside the bra. Then gently knead, squeeze, admiring their softness. When I say so, take them out to suckle with moderate pressure using gentle nibbles and tongue. If you're an advanced suckler, you can stuff most of it your mouth and suck from the areola root because that's a guaranteed panty creamer. That and either suckling one nipple and twiddling the other with your fingers. Or playing with nipples whilst making our.

Now, are we clear?
7 Comments

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