Old dog learning new tricks
Transpectival Criterion For Adjudication
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Anonymous Drop
Posted:Jul 17, 2018 6:52 pm
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2019 6:03 pm
If I can figure out how to do it, this is where anyone can write to and it will only be between us. I saw this on another blog. Sometimes its nice to have someone to talk to. Anyway, sit a spell and if you feel like it, feel free to drop a line or two. Are you the type of woman who lives near the SW side of Chicago and enjoys the outdoors? Walking, hiking, bike riding? Other things!!! . Sit with me. Let us talk about those other things.

WOW! 6500 views and only one woman contacted me?
0 Comments , 5 Pending
The Rarest Relationship of All
Posted:May 14, 2019 10:28 am
Last Updated:May 19, 2019 7:40 pm
"The world went and got itself in one big, damn hurry." Brooks, Shawshank Redemption.

We live in such a busy culture. We are busy with work, with family, with travel. And partly because of , a good description would be, "The Microwave Society." Everything we do is rushed. If someone is doing the speed limit in front of you, you get upset they aren't doing 5MPH more. If your food order takes just a little longer than you expect or someone comes in after you and gets served sooner than you, your feathers get ruffled. And such are our relationships. FWB/NSA is exactly microwave mentality. It is little more than prostitute/John without the money exchange. Today's priority relationship are romantic love, erotic love, family love, sexual love, neighborly love. All of these take priority over the rarest of all our relationships — friendship.

Think of all the romantic love songs. Perhaps your phone is brimming over with them. Now think of all the songs about friendship. Can you name one?

Standing in line at the store, what are all those glossy magazines headlines? Mostly they are about this or person sleeping with so and so. Have you ever seen an article, let alone a headline, about someone being friends with someone else?

LOTR. The movies depicting JRRTolkien's Lord of the Rings, necessarily included the romance between Aragorn and Arwen. There was also the flirtation between Éowyn with Aragorn. However, in the books themselves, this was only briefly noted in the appendages. The true theme of LOTR was friendship. It illustrated richly friendship is not a biological or even sociological necessity. Friendship is deliberate.

C.S. Lewis wrote: "Friendship is the least instinctive, least organic, least biological, least necessary of all our loves. It has the least commerce with our physical systems. There is nothing throaty about it or quickens the pulse or makes you red and pale."

Simply put, not matter how busy our lives become there is always time/priority for family, for erotic/romantic love and even for neighbor love. There always remains family involvement, vocation and civil involvement. No matter how busy you are, you still have romantic desires. However, friendship is deliberate. A friend is someone who has chosen to include you in their lives. It is always intentional. If it wasn't, it would soon be squeezed out of your busy lives. Perhaps, if we are truly honest with ourselves, outside of family, outside of vocational acquaintances, even apart from romantic relationships, we have very very few, if any true friends.

"Fools perish for the lack of friends or because of poorly chosen friends."

Early in life we are formed by our families. Later in life, we are what your friends, our communities make us. Friends are not about facing each other expressing their love. It is about sitting shoulder to shoulder, where one replies, "Oh! You too?" Friends feel the same way about many things. Friends think the same way about many things. Friends experience and carry many of the same burdens.

Friendship love in the relationship with the least amount of intrigue. Little is there hurt cause by the other. It is a relationship where there is little concern about being judged. It is the relationship where there is little usury. Most people you have in your life are there because of what they offer you; what benefit you gain from them. It may be as simple as just having a good time together. i.e. drinking buddy. It maybe they are a means to meet other people for either corporate ladder climbing or societal ladder climbing. Maybe it is because of their company expedites accomplishing things you need to get done. i.e. They own a truck and you need to move something. Friendship, real friendship involves very little of this.

So, what are some necessities of a good friend?
1) Constancy: no matter what the weather is, they don't offer, "Call me if you need anything." Rather, they are there beside you without any thought of what it cost them.

2) Carefullness: A good friend knows you well enough not to crack a joke when you're down. You don't glibly treat their situation with "when are you going to learn." Rather: "Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances."

3) Candor: True friends expose themselves to one another. True friends do not fear one another's thoughts or comments. The are free to speak. They are free to disclose the secrets they hide from all others.

4) Counsel: True friends offer guidance when it is warranted. Yes, sometimes, if not most times, a true friend needs to simply listen, to be an ear, a shoulder to cry on. But there are also those times when wise counsel is given, removed from their trouble, able to see more objectively, perhaps more experientially.

Friends. Do you really want one? Do you really want to be one?

Passive Men
Posted:May 11, 2019 8:06 am
Last Updated:May 14, 2019 1:05 pm
A little food for thought :

Passive men don’t stop evil.

Passive men don’t defend, protect or provide.

Passive men don’t lead.

Passive men don’t do the things we have always needed men to do for society to thrive.

Demonizing masculinity is not the solution, but the problem of much of today's society.

- by Allie Stuckey

M*rder, w ar—they all have one thing in common: Men.

Aggression, violence, ambition unchecked by conscience—all the stuff of “toxic masculinity,” right? And, the solution is obvious: make men less toxic. Make men less masculine. Make men more like women.

But I’m here to tell you that this way of thinking is not only wrong, it’s dangerous.
Here’s why: When you try to make men more like women, you don’t get less “toxic masculinity,” you get more.

Why? Because bad men don’t become good when they stop being men; they become good when they stop being bad. Aggression, violence, and unbridled ambition can’t be eliminated from the male psyche; they can only be harnessed. And when they are harnessed, they are tools for good, not for harm.

The same masculine traits that bring destruction also defeat tyranny. The traits that foster greed also build economies. The traits that drive men to take foolish risks also drive men to take heroic risks.

The answer to toxic masculinity isn’t less masculinity; it’s better masculinity. And we know what that looks like.

It’s a young man opening the door for a girl on their first date. It’s a father working long hours to provide for his family. It’s a soldier risking his life to defend his country.

The growing problem in today’s society isn’t that men are too masculine; it’s that they’re not masculine enough. When men embrace their masculinity in a way that is healthy and productive, they are leaders, warriors and heroes. When they deny their masculinity, they run away from responsibilities, leaving destruction and despair in their wake.

The consequences can be seen everywhere.

One in four fathers now lives apart from his children. And children who grow up without a dad are generally more depressed than their peers who have a mother and a father. They are at far greater risk for incarceration, teen pregnancy and poverty. Seventy-one percentPr of high school dropouts are fatherless.

“Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives...family is the most important. And we are called to recognize and honor how critical every father is to that foundation. . . . If we are honest with ourselves,” he went on, “we’ll admit that...too many fathers are...missing from too many lives and too many homes.”
That was said by then-Senator Barack Obama in 2008.

As much as we try to deny the need for real, masculine strength in society, there’s no denying its necessity. Healthy families and strong communities depend on the leadership and bravery of good men.

Yet, the current trend is to feminize young men in the hopes of achieving some utopian notion of equality and peace. And it starts at the earliest ages. In the school classroom, boys are invariably “the problem.” On the playground, aggressive games like dodge ball have long been banished. We tell young men that their intrinsic desire to compete is wrong. Everybody gets a trophy. Don’t run up the score. This anti-male tilt continues on through higher education and into the workplace. It has created millions of tentative men, unhappy women, and confused boys and girls.

Here’s a secret that every woman knows: Women want real men—men they can count on and, yes, look up to. No amount of feminist theory will change that. I don’t know any woman, at any age, who is attracted to a passive man who looks to her to be his provider, protector and leader. Every woman I know wants a strong, responsible man. That’s not a consequence of a social construct or cultural pressure—it’s innate.

The devaluation of masculinity won’t end well because feminine, passive men don’t stop evil. Passive men don’t defend, protect or provide. Passive men don’t lead. Passive men don’t do the things we have always needed men to do for society to thrive.

In his book, The Abolition of Man, English social philosopher C.S. Lewis writes about this problem. He describes the tension “between cerebral man and visceral man.” “By his intellect,” Lewis explains, man “is mere spirit and by his appetite mere animal.”

We need both. Take away one, and you’re left with a man who’s either weak or wicked. And in a world of wickedness, weak men are nothing more than enablers of wicked men.

M*rder, war—they all have two things in common: bad men who do the murdering, and warring; and weak men who won’t stop them. We need good men who will.

It’s not masculinity that’s toxic. It’s the lack of it.
1 comment
The Best FWB that never happened
Posted:May 7, 2019 10:35 am
Last Updated:May 14, 2019 7:13 pm
I am not sure why I am writing about this. Perhaps I have too much time on my hands. (a bane of retirement) Perhaps it's because I saw a profile on here today that reminded me of her. Actually it was two profiles. One a successful corporate woman, another an attractive , married black female. For my FWB was both. She had succeeded on TV news. We had long emails discussing the presidential election process that was going on at the time. She had just made friends with Mia Love as well. She moved from my area to DC where her lawyer husband had become a successful lobbyist. She was beautiful, slender, elegant, educated, smart and lonely.

I miss her. Evidently she contracted some disease and slowly then rapidly succumbed to it. Her best friend from college who had become a surgeon in Boston, wrote to me telling me of her passing. I miss her. She was a good friend and I was her confidant. I felt honored to be that to her.

Why write about it now? I do not know. I just know I have never met her like since that time. So carrying for others. So honest and open. So beautiful outwardly but equally if not more, inwardly. I miss you sweetie. How I wished I could have been there for you in the end.
0 Comments , 1 Pending
Friday musings
Posted:Apr 5, 2019 7:41 am
Last Updated:May 9, 2019 6:37 pm
Things to think about, ponder, weight, consider, reflect upon.

1 comment
Trickle Down
Posted:Mar 27, 2019 3:12 pm
Last Updated:May 22, 2019 12:25 pm
Blah blah blah

Poking fun at one's self
Posted:Mar 26, 2019 6:09 pm
Last Updated:May 11, 2019 8:10 am
I laughed.
Q. Should there be a separate site for homosexuals?
Posted:Mar 23, 2019 8:01 am
Last Updated:May 13, 2019 4:26 pm

I have been on HustlerPersonals on and off for several years. This my last visit in least 4 years has surprised me the overwhelming number of women iso women. And though I have set my cupid settings to "straight", I still get a large number of profiles of W4W. . . and some are very demonstratively so. I also get way too many men offering their services. Yuk!

Should HustlerPersonals be heterosexual only?
23 Comments , 73 votes
Joliet Scam/Liar
Posted:Mar 23, 2019 5:54 am
Last Updated:Mar 27, 2019 8:23 am
ibfvy is her profile name. She says she works for the UN in western Africa but lives in Kansas. Having done some research, she uses a name of a UN rep who is currently in another part of the world and looks nothing like the picture she sent me. I don't understand what liars expect to achieve from lying.

So tired of these cons on HustlerPersonals

Food For Thought
Posted:Mar 15, 2019 9:38 am
Last Updated:Mar 15, 2019 3:01 pm
Just a few obvious truths. In a culture of give and take, there are too many people don't give what it takes.

What's wrong with this picture.
Posted:Mar 13, 2019 6:31 am
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2019 10:14 am
I understand the photogenic nature. However, every time I see this it bugs me. Do you know what I'm referring to?

In a matter of minutes....
Posted:Mar 7, 2019 11:40 am
Last Updated:May 11, 2019 8:08 am
So I log in today and within minutes I get bombarded with views and flirts. Anyone else having to put up with this?
Age and Respect
Posted:Mar 1, 2019 11:37 am
Last Updated:Mar 2, 2019 10:00 am
This seems to be a topic of much conversation on here of late.


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