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133 Comments
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@mzkitty19 that is one of the things I despise MOST when im about to have a grip session!
my shitty statements are:
Aww fuck! I got a cramp!
I got no shame in that one. I was tryna do P-90X up in that thang that night! Just forgot to stretch lol.
Shit! I think I just came into my shoe!
In the climactic moment of a half dressed quickie on an office desk I pulled out and accidently let off a shot directly in my shoe! Lol
Are you ok? Do you want to stop?
WTF???
"Yea, thanks for asking. I wanna stop strokin this delcious ass pussy" Said no dude EVER! I had a girlfriend that would say that like I had a damn heart condition or some shit. Shit used to annoy the hell outta me.
SnoWhit3 replies on 12/22/2013 8:57 pm:
abstractche: Shit! I think I just came into my shoe!
OMFG thats hilarious! Literally LOLOLOL  |
abstractche replies on 12/23/2013 12:58 pm:
Yea Sno she got a kick out it also lol. |
Tobiann replies on 12/24/2013 12:01 am:
Ok, I have had a serious cramp before so that is a possibility, & laughed my ass off when my husband got a cramp in is thigh once & hopped all over the room cussing. But the oh shit I came in my shoe is a new one on me..had me laughing. The are you ok, you wanna stop.....that would piss me off too! |
Linc1912 replies on 1/15/2014 7:02 am:
I think Abstractche watches alot of Law n Order SVU like me.
LEAVE NO TRACE OF DNA! LOL |
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344 Comments
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Just now noticed my "poo and toilet paper" are BM-WF (totally by accident)...even subconsciously Im into black-guy-white-girl action LMFAO!
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1974 Comments
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ok, I've heard "Its been so long" and to the young'uns I've found that could mean like four days...and I get the blonde comment, I've been told that myself...how they make the leap from my ass shot or freshly shaven pussy shot to I must be a blonde is beyond me...and of course I get the "wow, you are really short" shit all the time...unless I'm wearing 5" heels...but my FAVORITE of all time was:
"Let's get married!"       
Love is an emotion, commitment is a decision and monogamy had nothing to do with either. ~ME
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1715 Comments
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About the dancer/stripper comment....I almost got in trouble with a girl once because I asked her that question after watching her dance (no she wasn't freaking a pole).
Personally, I think it's a compliment because strip tease/exotic dancing is a skill, maybe even an art that not many women are good at.
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941 Comments
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lmao funny funny
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83 Comments
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wow thats all i can say
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1448 Comments
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Can't really recall hearing anything like this...hmmm....wonder if I really haven't or if my memory has gone bad...lol
Nonetheless, I enjoyed reading the funny ones and wanted to slap the jerk that made the lapband comment...
And I have to say that Sno is brilliant when she comes up with these awesome interesting topics to discuss!
SnoWhit3 replies on 1/6/2014 5:35 am:
Ahhh thanks ♥ ... Im blushing now... but the inspiration for my writing is my everyday life... I legitimately heard way too much "shit" over a short span of a few days ... Too much for my septic system to contain |
TwantSex2 replies on 1/6/2014 4:12 pm:
Nice new profile pic.. hair red?? |
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1305 Comments
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There was the guy who could not get it up and explained that even though he knew we were coming over that evening he had chosen to drink all day long. I'm sorry I think I had a little too much to drink." really?
SnoWhit3 replies on 1/7/2014 6:15 am:
Ouch! But maybe for the better, if you didnt hit it! =-/
Admitting "you" drink too much is the first step to recovery...but maybe not the wisest decision using alcohol-abuse as the reason youre experiencing technical difficulties
Just so were clear, by "you", I mean "him"...not you Snozog |
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1385 Comments
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Hmm, I love these kinda questions....lol
After a night of fucking, and I get ready to leave:
"Ok, guess its time for me to hit the road.."
"Yea, i gotta some sleep finally...i got dick coming ova in like 5 hours"
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After being someone's first black man:
"Wow, I never knew black guys could fuck like that."
"  not all of us can"
"Well, Im definitely gonna keep you so when my white guy friend premature ejaculates, I'll just wipe my pussy off and call you!"
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This one had no words.
But I stuck a finger in her ass and pussy and ran my finger over her clit in circles.
She was stroking the dick with babyoil...
Soon as she started to NUT, she stopped strokin--put her hands behind her head and came.
So when i put her hand back on my hard dick.. she was like " Im too tired to stroke your cock.."
Tobiann replies on 1/15/2014 5:01 pm:
I hope you kicked Miss I'm to tired right out of the bed! Damn, if I fall asleep it's because there was some serious fucking going on & I came MULTIPLE times over several HOURS , lol! Heck, I will give up sleep any day (or night) for some great sex! I will also give up lounch breaks, coffee breaks & most other things for great sex, |
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3063 Comments
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I'm at a go-go bar with 2 dudes I play B-ball with, I'm 6'3. the other dude is 6'6" and the 3rd dude is 6'9".. So we are seated at the bar and the 6'9" dude stands up to get get something out of his pocket. As he stands there looking for some ones, the tallest stripper I ever seen in my life starts walking over.. She looked 6'8 at least, then I noticed she's wearing heels, so I'd say she was 6'5'.. She walks up to my buddy. throws her leg on his shoulder and tells him she's been wanting to have a baby by a guy taller than she was.. WTF.. lol.. So we all thought she was just joking trying to get a tip.. But she was dead serious.. cuz her master plan was to have a 7 foot kid that was gonna play in the NBA.. huh? I said what if it's a girl? She said she'll be in the WNBA.. Crazy lady.. my boy wasn't impressed.. but Me and the other dude were like hey.. we're tall to,but let's just practice first lol.. And the moral to this story is.. That stripper must've knew something cuz my 6'9" boy has a son now (not with the stripper) and I'll be dam if that kid don't look like he will be a 7 footer one day..
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