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Just a funny thing that happened to me. 5/6/2016
My boyfriend and I were having sex one night at my place and
I was on top. It was going real good when all of a sudden he
was like oh shit get off and pushed me, well I fell off the
bed and started cracking up, and he yelled... I look up,
and his jizz flew into his mouth... that's why he yelled
and shit. It was just a funny experience I thought I could
share.
3 Comments, 537 Views,
9 Votes
,3.21 Score
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Having sex with The King! Thank you.. Thank you very much... 4/8/2016
I have always found ways to make a girl bust up laughing;
while we have sex.. Creative singing is one them.. I have a knack for turning something innocent; into something
naughty..... For instance.. I heard an Elvis song while driving to a date.
Latter when we were ready for a romp, I sang my dirty version.
It went like this: Are you lonesome tonight?... ...
2 Comments, 94 Views,
11 Votes
,4.66 Score
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Understanding Men 1/8/2016
"IT'S A GUY THING" Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making
it logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH, " "SURE, HONEY, " OR "YES,
DEAR" Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned
response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Translated: "I ...
2 Comments, 42 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score
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its funny now not s much then 12/6/2015
nikki an myself was in bed and she says she has to pee.okay
I thought get up and go like any sane person would do.well
she for some reason got the idea to act like she was a and
omg she pissed on me!!and I don't mean just a lil I mean
straight full blast peed lol then says she was marking what
belongs to her lol I couldn't be mad after that bc it
was so funny and sweet at the same time yet she ...
4 Comments, 98 Views,
21 Votes
,2.14 Score
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Fun Facts about the Great Vagina 11/19/2015
Fun Facts about the Great Vagina
7 Comments, 262 Views,
26 Votes
,7.02 Score
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ANOTHER POEM FOR THE MAG -= SAD, FUNNY & LAME 10/29/2015
LAMO
We met in a chat room General conversation Things get hot & heavy She is coming over for sex. ‘Can’t see you till after work Be there by 8 AM my dear.’
She had sent a photo From the neck to her waist To whet my appetite I guess She was lovely, bare big breasted.
Troubled sleep – toss & turn Big Yoda is throbbing My mind is in a whirl Putting a face & name ...
2 Comments, 76 Views,
8 Votes
,3.25 Score
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Hard Liquor... 9/1/2015
Two female co-workers are chatting it up, and they are discussing
the boyfriends they’ve had in the last year. One girl
says "The last 3 boyfriends I’ve had, I’ve named
after soda pops. The first one i called 7up, because he had
7 inches and he knew how to keep it up. The second one i called
mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what
to do. The third i called Jack Daniels." ...
8 Comments, 279 Views,
25 Votes
,6.67 Score
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The Successful 8/3/2015
Four men went golfing one day. Three of them went to the 1st tee while the other went to to
the club house to pay the bill. The three men started bragging
on their sons. The first man said "My is a successful home builder.
He's so successful that he gave a friend a new home for
free. The second man said "My is such a good car salesman
that he know owns a multi-line dealership. And because ...
4 Comments, 229 Views,
17 Votes
,5.67 Score
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A Realization After Sex 3/22/2015
So the encounter began as hot and passionate as ever! She
started unbuttoning my shirt, but had to raise her arms
so I could throw HER shirt off! She must have thought, forget
the buttons, and tried to pull mine over my head too!
We were tearing each other's clothes off like they
were on fire!
She went for my belt, I went for her bra, and after struggling
like I was trying to ...
3 Comments, 231 Views,
18 Votes
,3.26 Score
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Going 3/15/2015
Funny how the longer you know someone the more you get use
to seeing them going to the bathroom and how little it matters.
11 Comments, 126 Views,
24 Votes
,6.20 Score
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Humor 2/24/2015
We think it's really funny how many guys want us to watch
them jerk off on cam. Do they really think that's what
people on here want to see? Oh and just an added note for those
of you that think a woman is watching you on all those couple
profiles. It isn't.
9 Comments, 90 Views,
19 Votes
,4.44 Score
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Testimonials 12/17/2014
If you get one do you always allow it to show up on your profile
or do you sometimes hide them?
5 Comments, 67 Views,
14 Votes
,3.30 Score
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Understanding Women 11/19/2014
A Woman's Vocabulary, Keywords and Meanings (as taken
from an interview with a woman)
FINE This is the word we use at the end of any argument in which
we feel we are right, but need to shut you up. NEVER use 'Fine'
to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have
one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your ...
3 Comments, 56 Views,
9 Votes
,4.07 Score
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When Alice Went Deer Hunting 10/30/2014
It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up
ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down
to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise
he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed
in camouflage.
Jake asks her: "What are you up to?"
Alice smiles: "I'm going hunting with you!"
Jake, though he had many reservations about ...
2 Comments, 200 Views,
13 Votes
,4.82 Score
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Joke... 9/23/2014
How do you know you just had a good blow job?
- When she gives you a blow job she sucks the sheets up your
ass.
Now how do you know the woman that just gave you that blow
job is a good girl?
- She pulls the sheets back out for you.
2 Comments, 88 Views,
25 Votes
,3.91 Score
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Three kinds of each... 9/6/2014
A family is at the dinner table. The asks the father,
"Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?" The
father, surprised, answers, "Well, , a woman
goes through three phases. In her 20s, her breasts are like
melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like
pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like
onions." "Onions?" the asks. "Yes.
You see them and they make you cry." This ...
3 Comments, 157 Views,
20 Votes
,4.91 Score
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WHAT MEN WOULD DO IF THEY HAD A VAGINA FOR A DAY 9/4/2014
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball
20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE
closing ...
2 Comments, 63 Views,
7 Votes
,4.82 Score
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SIR 8/27/2014
A
1 Comments, 59 Views,
6 Votes
,1.66 Score
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Interesting facts about the Penis 8/20/2014
Interesting facts about the Penis
6 Comments, 177 Views,
24 Votes
,7.33 Score
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Getting rid of Ex 7/30/2014
An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first
time, and in the center of the tomb there’s a lamp. He picks
it up, and as he starts to rub the dirt off of it, a genie comes
out of the lamp and says, “I want to know the person you
hate the most.” The explorer says, “That’s gotta
be my ex-wife. Why?” “I am a cursed genie. I will grant
you three wishes, but whatever you wish ...
3 Comments, 284 Views,
17 Votes
,5.39 Score
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bar joke 7/19/2014
A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give
me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hell of
a day."
"Yeah, I just found out my oldest is gay."
The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for
six double vodkas. When the bartender asks what's wrong, the man says,
"I just found out that my youngest is gay, too!"
On ...
7 Comments, 342 Views,
24 Votes
,6.65 Score
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what women would do if they had a penis for a day 6/19/2014
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging
orgasm.
4. Touch yourself in public ...
4 Comments, 87 Views,
11 Votes
,5.04 Score
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25 Secrets Girls Have To Know About Guys 5/24/2014
. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls.
They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys hate flirts.
3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply
means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have
you eaten already?" are the first usual ...
1 Comments, 68 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
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What Annie didn't tell you.............. 5/3/2014
....was that before she rolled the damn can of Crème of
Mushroom soup perfectly under my right foot was:
1. the fact that we have wood floors and they had just been
polished.
2. I was wearing socks, not shoes at the time of impact.
3. She had just opened the cupboard above me slamming me
in the head with the bottom corner of the oak cabinet
4. That ...
3 Comments, 101 Views,
10 Votes
,3.19 Score
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Greener Grass 5/3/2014
Being that my husband was born and raised his whole life
here in this small County He is pretty well known and knows
most other locals that have been born and raised here. Its safe to say that when we meet new people If its through
a mutual friend , they have already been pre warned or pre
schooled that we are freaks. They don't know what to
expect and though they all at one time or another ...
2 Comments, 284 Views,
15 Votes
,3.28 Score
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Say it isn't so! 4/26/2014
A hysterical woman came into
the ER. She'd just had a fight with her boyfriend while
sitting in his parked car. She said she had gotten so mad
at him that she pulled the key out of the ignition and put
it in her vagina so he couldn't drive home! Now she couldn't
locate the key to get it out. I couldn't find it either,
so we concluded that it must have fallen out ...
4 Comments, 364 Views,
13 Votes
,2.81 Score
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If You Use Handcuffs, Always Keep a Spare Key Handy 4/20/2014
I've even got a better idea, make sure you have one key
on a string, around your wrist before you play, and have
a spare on your key ring.
The reason? My two best friends, Ted and Bobbi and I play around quite
a bit. Sometimes I go to their house for MFM threesome, sometimes
they come over to my house to have a mfmf party with Debbie
and me.
And sometimes, Ted and Bobbi just get ...
3 Comments, 173 Views,
8 Votes
,4.64 Score
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SPECIAL YESTERDAY BUT UNWANTED TODAY 4/17/2014
DO U KNOW WHAT HURTS THE MOST.........?
ITS WHEN SOMEONE MADE U FEEL VERY VERY SPECIAL YESTERDAY....................................................................................................................................................BUT....................................................................................MADE
U FEEL THAT U R THE MOST UNWANTED PERSON TODAY.....!! ...
3 Comments, 58 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
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how are people born? 4/4/2014
A asked his father, "How were people born?"
So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then
their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."
The then went to his mother, asked her the same question
and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved
to become like we are now." The ran back to his
father and said, "You lied to me!" His father
replied, "No, your mom was talking about ...
3 Comments, 171 Views,
11 Votes
,4.85 Score
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Amazing 2/27/2014
Is this all you need to do to get free points?
3 Comments, 63 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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