Hey there! I am very outgoing and funny. I like to make sure my partner's needs are met (it's only fair!). I may be over 50 but people always guess I'm about 45. It is because of both how I look and how I act. For those of you that do not like B.S., read no further. You have been warned: Here are my rules- 1) Married men - move on. WHAT PART OF 'NO MARRIED MEN' DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND??? 2) Face shots only, not 'faced' shots. Too many drunken women are sending me unflattering pix. 3) I am looking for a long relationship. Until 11PM when the nursing home locks its doors. 4) I do not have any diseases, like RCPD (Remote Control Possession Disorder). 5) I can't have you fall in love with me, but you probably won't be able to help yourself (how's this for PURE B.S.?!?) 6) I am the world's second most fascinating man. The guy on those fancy beer commercials beat me out. So far... 7) Many women can't help but grab that bulge in my pants - my wallet 8 ) If you are looking to buy me a present (always a good way to start things off with me), chartreuse is my best shade of lipstick 9) I never sleep with someone on the first date. Unless they want to. 10) Once I had to see a physician for a condition that lasted for more than 4 hours. 11) I have all my teeth. And soak them every night. 12) I am looking for a woman who, when I am sitting on the couch and watching a ball game, will get on her knees, crawl over to me, and suck, suck, suck the potato chip crumbs off my chest with the vacuum cleaner. (I CAN'T be the only one turned on by this!) 13) You do not have to be a member of AARP 14) I can provide a face pic as soon as I get a picture where I don't look like a pervert, psycho, stalker or some other type of loser. 15) I am D&D free, and have NEVER played Dungeons & Dragons. 16) If you don't like what you see then let me know - I can change. I use PhotoShop. 17) Warning: No other websites are authorized to use my images in any manner without prior permission from me. Unless it's for porn. 18) I like long walks, sex (but that comes after I know someone), dinners, and cuddling. God, I think I'm a woman! 19) Ladies, my account expires soon. If you don't start hitting on me then I'm leaving! 20) I am funnier than Brad Pitt and better looking than Jerry Seinfeld. 21) When I flirt with you, it's not what you think. It means that I'm too lazy to take the time to type out a meaningful paragraph to you, I want YOU to do the work in any relationship we have, and I expect this approach to work. I'll add more as they come to me. ;) Okay, I've got to go and send more emails to you women with AutoReply so that Alerts box of mine pops up. Seriously, though, I was once voted the best looking guy on our track team bus, and I am just a damn pleasure to be around!

My Ideal Person Since I'm married I am looking for someone who can keep a secret. Fun, outgoing, a sense of humor, adventurous, and can meet at lunchtime. I would LOVE to meet someone cute and funny, and go for a walk first.

Physical attraction is a must. I am not desperate and have standards. (I know, I know, "Who are YOU to have standards???"). But I can't help either one of us if the General won't salute, ya know??? And I like a cute face more than an athletic body.

Finally, looking for a FWB because I don't have dental coverage.

(that's a joke...)

Tell one of your favorite sexual fantasies. Don't hold back!:
Making love on a golf course. You'll have to ask me about
the others!

What location do you fantasize about for a sexual encounter?:
A moving vehicle (i.e. car), The middle of a park, An airplane, A movie theatre, A remote wilderness spot, Under a waterfall, A swimming pool or hot tub, An elevator, A hotel room

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Receiving Oral Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Mutual Masturbation

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